The Best Gift is Self-Love- 24 Ways to Get It

When my daughter was about five years old, she announced, “I love myself the most.” In generations past, her declaration may have been viewed as self-centered, selfish, or self-absorbed but I was beyond thrilled by her exuberant proclamation followed by her proud and genuine smile. The reason for my glee was because at her tender age, falling in love with herself would be the secret to her happiness and a fulfilled life. Her positive self-affirmation meant she would always put herself first, never let anyone walk all over her, and make sure she prioritized herself above anyone else. I can honestly say she is not and has never been self-centered, selfish, or self-absorbed and in fact, is just the opposite. She continues to love herself into her young adulthood, attracting like-minded loving people into her life, perpetuating a self-love cycle. She understood then, and she still does, that practicing self-love is the best gift she can give herself for a life well-lived.

Self-love is a state of being where you appreciate yourself. It grows from actions that support your physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve. Self-love, like self-care, is not selfish.

Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment and putting your physical, emotional, and mental well-being first. Self-love motivates you to make healthy choices in life because when you hold yourself in high esteem, you’re more likely to choose things that nurture your well-being and serve you well, especially when it comes to having healthy relationships with others. There’s a reason self-love, self-respect, and self-worth all stall start with the word “self.” You can’t find them in anyone else. You, yourself have to do the work, but it’s always worth the effort and the dividends pay off.

If you were never allowed the space to grow up where self-love was encouraged and appreciated like my daughter was, when you start exercising self-compassion and self-love for the first time, you may experience some discomfort and grief. You may come to the realization of how much you’ve missed, how certain people failed you, and what the younger version of you actually deserved. I’m here to remind you, it’s never too late and YOU DESERVE SELF-LOVE!

Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health. To practice self-love (notice the word practice), start by being kind, patient, gentle, and compassionate to yourself. Self-love is a journey. Enjoy the ride.